What you want is Monero and you'll love it. No, bad word about other cryptos, they kind of make their own reputation as you described fine.

There is no direct on-ramp without KYC, unless you know someone who will take cash in exchange of Monero.

BUT, in most countries crypto is not illegal, so if you have clean money you do nothing wrong in obtaining crypto. As soon as you have a crypto ex. Litecoin you can easily swap to Monero.

Ex. Use Cake Wallet on mobile, buy Litecoin, swap to Monero. That's it, from this point no one can trace or see your holdings, payments. So, you can basically swap out to a BTC wallet with no KYC connected (but no one really do that if they first have obtained monero)