Big relays only seem big because they're taking the notes from the smaller relays and not giving a shit about posting back reactions and comments. Leaves lots of nostr users that posted these notes unable to see the comments, and the commenters thinking the OP doesn't respond.

I never liked this, it's a fake way for them to seem like they have a bunch of users at the expense of broken coms.

The exceptions are wine (posts back), and damus (truly big).