It's on the relay settings page "require lightning to post", set to on, and set an amount.

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does that charge for every event?

Just a one time sign up per pubkey

ok, so it has a balance level or something?

It does, but it doesn't use that for members of the relay, it just puts them on the allow list. If the operator removes them, they'd have to pay again.

ah, ok, nice and simple... you have a good grasp of how to make software simple which i really like... it's far more important than most devs realise