Hello.

Thank you for your great comment, which nicely explains the part where I failed a little (after all, I am not a perfect human being, right? :) ).

I completely agree and apologize for how it came across. I think I got carried away with how good and provocative the statement would sound and forgot that it could cause confusion.

You are right, that it is very important to remember that not expecting perfection from our children may not always be enough. If a person toxicly expects perfection from themselves, they will set an example for their children and in the end transfer that "perfect human" expectation onto them anyway (because, as you say, they learn those behaviors from us).

However, I believe that there might be a healthy striving for personal perfection. And by this, I do not mean perfection in some general standard or as portrayed in pop culture (which doesn't really exist), but rather perfection in one's own standards, or perhaps in the internal standards of a family. Maybe it is precisely because of this striving that it is more obvious for a person to apologize if they make a mistake. Because if they did not even try to achieve any personal perfection, not much would seem like a "mistake" to them.

For example: I believe that my perfect self should not raise my voice or curse, and in case I slip up, I will come and apologize to everyone. If I did not believe that I wanted to be the ideal image of my own self (non-confrontational and not vulgar), then why would I have a reason to apologize at all?

Maybe the missunderstanding might be in the word "perfection", which is too strong and demonized (especially in connection with kids) and maybe I should just use "better self" or "ideal self". What do you think? Did I get your comment right?