Most of it is about shame. It's much easier for a narcissist to find something to shame you about, than ever face the shame they feel. They want you to feel worse, so they feel less bad. They don't want to and are unwilling to do the work to feel better themselves and there's nothing you can do about it. #grownostr 
Discussion
Sometimes people try and make or turn you the into the bad person so they don’t have to feel the guilt for what they did to you. Sometimes is always when the people are narcissists.