I feel for you!

SIP bridges the two worlds, but Asterisk is a pain to self-host, that's why I haven't done it yet.

There are a lot of commercial SIP providers, though, and with a SIP cellphone number no one needs to know how you take their call :D

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Still needs an internet connection.

Truth, but it gets you off the PSTN / mobile spy net and untrustworthy hardware. That's 95% there...

Yeah but you don't need asterisk for that (and yes it is hard to configure). Surely it will be useful but not necessary. I had a sip phone number for a year...

Thank you. I will look into that!