To a large degree we create our own version of reality through the interpretations we asign to events.

If 100 people are at a comedy show and the comic tells a joke, you will have 100 unique emotional responses based on 100 unique life experiences. Some may result in laughter while others may be apathy, anger, sadness, grief, ect.

If the comic manages to trigger laughter in a majority of the audience he will be considered a 'good comic', but these determinations are not objective. They are entirely based on the interpretations of those who are reacting.

I developed this perspective after studying Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg and The Presence Process by Michael Brown. They helped me to clarify the difference between events and our reactions to them. I would recommend both of those books to every human on the planet.

Again, my condolences for your brother. I can only imagine the heartbreak and dispair you've been through. If you would like to talk about any of this further feel free to message me directly.