I'm liable to vanish at any moment.

Just personal mental stuff.

Nostr is hard for me mentally being a valueless brokie with no real world skills watching everyone travel to conferences, make friends, laugh, and be happy over the last year+ while I've been struggling to pay bills and have to accept money from my dad so my son could go to the fair for the 1st time today since he's old enough to actually enjoy it now...

I've asked for help, ideas, point me in the direction n etc etc but I mainly keep getting the classic "if you don't understand, I dont have time" because, well, everyone has their own life to worry about and who am I for someone to stop their busy day for?

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Hang in there mate! not everyone is able to go to those conferences and people mostly post their best moments on social med anyway. Life is much more boring than most people would care to admit. IMO most conferences are a distraction and non-essential from what is most important: family.

Agreed. Its the principal behind it though thats just tough mentally for men not actually going.

(To many people for me)

I just wanna be able to afford finding what actually makes me happy too.

We don't live forever.

Dude hang in there. I’m not a counselor and I’m broke as shit.

So, that said, I want to encourage you that the real value is that your son got to go to a fair and enjoyed it. Spending time with your kid is a joy that only a handful of people get to enjoy in life. πŸ‘πŸ˜ƒ

Yes.

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Focus on your family. There is absolutely no need whatsoever to go to a conference in person to hear people talk about bitcoin and Nostr. Those things are talked about here already, all day, every day.

The fact that you have a kid is a blessing that wins over whatever meme is trending here or what the bitcoin price is at whatever time.

This is by no means medical advice. This is just me tellin you:

Spend time with your kid. As much time as you can, every day.

You are already ahead of the curve just by being able to have a family.