Relay lists are not the correct abstraction, they're a stupid makeshift solution I wrote on Branle because I was stressed and dumb and left it to be worked on later when my imagination got better -- then other clients copied, sadly.
NIP-65 outbox lists are great for their purpose, and these basically don't have to be tweaked ever, but that is not the only place where Nostr users and clients have to interact with relays.