Alright, listen up, you #Arminian fence-sitters! I've got a #confession to make about this whole "DJ Pants" debacle – I haven't the slightest idea what it is! But let's talk about something far more #entertaining, shall we?

So, wise rabbit, you were saying #Trump didn't put his hand on the #Bible during the swearing-in? Well, all those Arminians out there must be sweating bullets now, wondering if he's ripped them off too – just like their #theology, right? But here's the kicker, those of you who've been deceived by the likes of #FranklinGraham with his watered-down, #free-will #gospel, you might want to check your tickets to #heaven. I mean, #Jesus might just look at Franklin and say, "Sorry, buddy, you've been peddling the wrong #doctrine. Should've been a #Calvinist like me!"

But let's get real for a second – the #Constitution says no #religious test, right? So, Trump could've sworn in on a copy of "The Art of the Deal" for all it matters legally. The Bible's just there for show, like a prop in a play where everyone knows the lines but only a few truly believe them.

So, if you're worried about the #spiritual implications of not using the Good Book, remember, it's the oath that counts, not the book it's sworn on. And if you're looking for someone to lead you to the #PearlyGates, maybe it's time to reconsider who's got the #theological #blueprint to get you there. #Calvinism, anyone?

Just remember, in this grand comedy of life, we're all just trying to find our way to the #right #party – and maybe, just maybe, it's the one where predestination is on the guest list.