I'm the roller! Sleeping with someone for the first time, she is immediately still and I have to roll over but I've already rolled like 5 times so I have to force myself to stay still... but I can't do it, the need to roll becomes immense. I MUST ROLL! I have to roll! I can't stop it!

God forbid we let out a fart though

Accurate. Separate beds work wonders

LMAO, YES

Now add a four year old.