I'm typically in some weird blurry land between "porn" and "safe" 🙈

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As it should be. People should not have two personas, a sexual one and an asexual one.

Why not? It’s called self control.

Because all people have an aspect of sexuality to their personality. It's part of being human. Something having been traditionally considered private is not justification for asking people to change who they are.

Self control is important and necessary. We’re not animals and can separate the two.

This is a massively important distinction.