Subnostr

Hmm... The second is worthless, on its own. If their mood changes, they'll just dump you. Passion fluctuates over time, sometimes simply due to hormones or the weather, or how things are going at work or problems with the relatives, etc.; it's merely a mood.

Ideal is a combination of both, I suppose. Obligation and passion. They have an interplay, that causes the one to deepen the other.

Knowing that someone won't leave helps you feel safe enough to abandon yourself to passion.

purrs_for_Her 1y ago

well, i don't want to conflate love and passion here. but i do understand the idea of obligation being a kind of stable foundation for love—is this what you mean?

i don't disagree with what you're expressing here. there is a sense of obligation in love, it just shouldn't be the motivating force.

for example, i feel obligated to get my Wife an anniversary gift. the gift will differ depending on whether i'm only doing it because i feel obligated to get Her something or whether i want to genuinely express how grateful i am for Her.

that motivation—that intention is going to be felt in what i choose, how i give it, and how She receives it.

your responses are very appreciated, btw. ^^

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Discussion

Silberengel 1y ago

Yeah, I guess I'm saying that obligations fulfilled, not passion, are the basis for trust. And trusting allows you to relax and feel deeper passion.

purrs_for_Her 1y ago

absolutely.

following through and consistency are so foundational to building trust. that relaxation also helps you open up and be vulnerable. :3