If reviewing code for #bitcoin is "soul-crushing" to you, that's probably a clear signal that you should step aside. stick to nostr apps or whatever actually gives you a sense of meaning.

Perhaps also it is soul crushing for you because you and the Core devs are deliberately violating established and necessary principles of mempool filters to protect our beloved timechain, against the clear wishes of our community. Maybe listen to that feeling inside and change course.

You make it sound like having deep knowledge is a burden. If it's not for you, please step aside and follow your purpose whatever it is