I’m technically minded and idk how to do this. My first assumption would be some metric like latency or uptime. But I don’t know how to validate that.

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On nostr.watch you can filter relays by free/paid and by latency. You can also see where they are geographically

https://nostr.watch/relays/find

Another good metric for a favorite relay could be which relay do the people you interact with the most are connected to

Or this ☝🏻