I’m technically minded and idk how to do this. My first assumption would be some metric like latency or uptime. But I don’t know how to validate that.
On nostr.watch you can filter relays by free/paid and by latency. You can also see where they are geographically
https://nostr.watch/relays/find
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Another good metric for a favorite relay could be which relay do the people you interact with the most are connected to
Or this ☝🏻