It's not one place. That's what I'm trying to say. It's a lifetime of experience. Being raised in religion. Having people lie to me. Watching their actions. Listening to people tell stories of abuse. Watching family members and friends interact. Listening to theories that do and don't make sense. I don't wholesale believe anyone. It's all piecemeal. Listening to professors explain how the brain works. How anti depressant meds work by modifying serotonin uptake. Lectures on microtubules and quantum consciousness. It's too much stuff. I just distilled it down because it's apparent to me that people think you can fix your brain without changing your environment. You brain is part of the environment. Change your environment change your mind. Get off of social media. Don't compare yourself to people you will never interact with. If you feel inadequate find something you are adequate at and be the best in your group at it. This is everything from national geographic, all the way to Alex Jones. I find the pieces that make sense and I put them together. Removing yourself from ever competing or comparing at all is not good. It's a type of egotism. It's also ignorance of your place in your group. You end up stepping on people's toes or hurting yourself or them because you are clueless of how you relate. Comparison is useful and it's built into your brain at a chemical level. You don't remove it or get over it, you just become delusional.