Parenting definitely makes us aware of our kneejerk authoritarian tendencies. Those same responses were probably used on us by parents, caretakers and govt..
Worth examining
Discussion
I've examined plenty. Parenting needs solid authority, Neufeld would turn in his grave from statism applied on parenting as well as hippie "friends" of own kids. Some replies to some things stay the same and it's not wrong.
Yea I agree. Mainly I’m saying it’s worth being mindful when we pull the force and coercion levers (think: “do this, because I said so” vibes)
We can be loving and respectful of our kids while maintaining firm boundaries and hard no’s ( no crawling out into the street, etc)
Explaining the why behind EVERYTHING has been the main tool I’ve used instead of trying to get quick compliance
You're obviously right. We moved past explaining too though. If the kid melts, the kid melts. My husband is strong for explaining since they were little, but just going like a mill for words is imho sometimes useless at least.
I learned from animals just to be close and shut up, it'll get past.
But also once I carried absolutely furious melted down screeching creature from the apartment to a car, then a quick chase around and in the car and 5 minutes later I had to drag him out, which wasn't easy, carry him to the pool - where he, once inside, calmly took a shower put on his swimwear and thoroughly enjoyed next hour. 🤦🏻♀️ We had to, his brother was waiting there for us after his turn. Just🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Yep, with meltdowns we just hold them close, don't let them harm anyone and eventually get them to take some breaths. I've found having them blow out the 4 candles of my fingers, 1 by 1 let's them breathe and have little fun with it.
Main thing is bringing them in instead of pushing them away or making them "wrong"
The meltdowns have pretty much completely gone away for our older son, and he used to absolutely lose his mind (like we thought he might be possessed 😆)
Also making sure they have eaten some protein has gone a long way- if theyre fighting it generally cause they're hungry and have only eaten fruit