Nostr Web Client

Replying to nobody

how many people play along to survive?

percentages on earth

inside relationships

whether work, or friends, or lovers, or family

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

im just wondering about it

& i know it also isnt absolute in a lot of cases like you can read a lot of: oh yea im humoring my kid on this lego thing right now hoping that will run thru & they will get back into painting again. i think that falls under space & grace most of the time. i dont think that's usually in cruelty.

but listen, cos ive got a bit of a riff to share re: my time in isolation

if you havent watched

Empresses in the Palace (simplified Chinese: 后宫·甄嬛传; traditional Chinese: 後宮·甄嬛傳; pinyin: Hòugōng Zhēn Huán Zhuàn; lit. 'Inner Palace: The Legend of Zhen Huan'

it is a whole thing

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nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

& by whole thing i mean, truly very extra, very whole thing but having seen it in full several times, i think thats informing some of what im saying in the easiest way of saying it

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

"Six months after his ascension to the throne, Empress Dowager Renshou organizes a selection to bring newer members into the Imperial Harem of the Yongzheng Emperor. Despite not wanting to be selected, Zhen Huan is forced to join the selection and ends up being chosen due to her resemblance to the late Empress Chunyuan. She joins the Imperial Harem alongside her childhood friend Shen Meizhuang, and the low-born An Lingrong."

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

when it comes to social media platforms

as a person, when i download an app. when i make a profile, what am i?

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

a user?

why is it called a user

cos there is a drug & i go to there for supply?

a freeloading user?

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

is that how things are justified?

its just junkies

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

cos it had better not be.

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

i dearly deeply truly hope

in my heart of deepest hearts

that this isnt predicated on sentiment like that

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

the absolute level of dehumanization in the way some people speak about other people is beyond beyond beyond beyond

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

i have no claim to any great feats

i can tell you about trenches ive been in from the ground floor

what is that worth? my time in trenches

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

trenches i go into so i can escalate it up & up

like why you should always have a lit af dude in receiving & your best people are janitors

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

most of my trench time was jungian fb groups that were massively unsafe re: ratio of how many admins/mods to how many people were participating. unsafe ~because~ labeled & for & conducting jungian stuff. like come to this shop for this. so you go for that. you didnt go to the assassination shop. you came to the jungian shop.

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

so when someone messages me: out of their mind about how they voluntarily committed themselves to a stay in a hospital because of a jungian group. that's less than an ideal situation to me.

i didnt create the group. wasnt admin or mod. i was just a fellow junkie advocating for another fellow junkie who got bad junk.

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

what also didnt help matters, was cause this was the fb jungian shop. that also makes it a costume shop. a mask shop.

& since i loathe the enlightenment olympics, my mask was pretty crass by carefully articulated design

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

im not into having a dance off on who is more pristine

miss me with it

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

but that meant i had nothing

no leverage no weight

cos no one gives a fuck about a crass punk kid

trying to escalate from that position did not work

i was kicked out of the group. meaning all of my writings were locked in there, still on the table for that group, i, as author, stripped of access to my own words. unable to even have access to delete them.

wasnt just: you are kicked out

it was: kicked out & all your shit is forfeit to us

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

it took another junkie, a very well constellated, thoughtful, eloquent one, who did have some pull due to the poise she forever kept herself in while in that group, to advocate on my behalf that allowed me to return. re-admitted. have access to my words again.

so the chain of this:

someone came to me really upset

i flipped out on her behalf for her for everyone

i got nailed for it

my friend in better standing got me back in

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

so it tends to go

cos that is how i prefer it

that is charity

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

covering what you can cover

taking what you can take to take it off someone else who cant take it

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

were we, the three of us, junkies freeloading on mark's back & thus deserve whatever the fuck at whatever price to us because who are we what are we? worth something in aggregate as data & meaningless as individuals?

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

i can only throw stuff out there

i dont have answers

but some shit feels really wrong in the trenches

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

nostr isnt the jungian shop to me

but its important to know i was there & there was fuck shit like a lot

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

a funnier anecdote so this can be a little lighter,

it was funny to me when jungian muslim converts could barely stand to be courteous around me due to my frequent cursing. which, a profesh jungian analyst friend like lifelong career thing is an enthusiastic supporter of, btw. like half of it was in homage to her. bowing to her. gesturing her way in gratitude then for her to see, as now, for her not to see, but for her to still know, somewhere out there, shannon.

nobody 3mo ago 💬 1

love & corresponding thru time

that's a convert issue, btw

like the new catholic converts

muslims who speak with me, immediately know whether i curse or not what i am & what i am not