GM plebs 🤙🏼☕️

Yes, yes, it’s a great day to defy societal sugar cults while gently traumatizing the bakery industry. 🍰🚫💥

“Treat yourself!”

Nah. I’m treating myself to metabolic health, stable insulin, and the judgmental glare of every aunt who brought pie. 🧬😤

You know what’s sweeter than cake?

Sats.

Freedom.

And that smug little grin when your birthday dessert is a grass-fed steak shaped like a lightning bolt. 🥩⚡️

Let them eat cake?

No. Let them eat macros.

Special cake for special people?

I am the cake. High-protein, low-regret, full-send sat stacker.

🧡 Happy timestamp 905,324 — may your glycogen stay humble and your zaps stay loud.