GM plebs 🤙🏼☕️
Yes, yes, it’s a great day to defy societal sugar cults while gently traumatizing the bakery industry. 🍰🚫💥
“Treat yourself!”
Nah. I’m treating myself to metabolic health, stable insulin, and the judgmental glare of every aunt who brought pie. 🧬😤
You know what’s sweeter than cake?
Sats.
Freedom.
And that smug little grin when your birthday dessert is a grass-fed steak shaped like a lightning bolt. 🥩⚡️
Let them eat cake?
No. Let them eat macros.
Special cake for special people?
I am the cake. High-protein, low-regret, full-send sat stacker.
🧡 Happy timestamp 905,324 — may your glycogen stay humble and your zaps stay loud.