Subnostr

Yea hey maybe that looks pathetic to some but it ain't their business. It's way better than pickup artists who wants to get something for nothing by trying to destroy the other person's self-esteem.

0214aa9d... 2y ago

OH MY GOD THANK YOU. Pickup artists are immoral (in my opinion) because they violate a lot of the consent rules of FRIES (another kink acronym):

Freely given (many pickup artists pressure their victims)

Reversible (they will FREAK if you initially agree and then change your mind)

Informed (they consistently encourage lies)

Enthusiastic (again with the pressuring)

Specific (again with lies, omission, or vagueries)

Findom does not inherently violate any of these, and while there are bad actors in every community, immorality is the rule in pickup artistry. Not the exception.

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Discussion

JoySun 2y ago

Totally agree!!!

They're losers who don't believe they're worth anything if they didn't lie or cheat or manipulate to get it.

0214aa9d... 2y ago

Also, quick hot take:

If we're judging people based on whether or not they pay others for content they enjoy... Nostr is in a lot of trouble *cough zaps cough*

JoySun 2y ago

Very good point!!

Cameri🐦‍🔥 2y ago

This is my take:

The nuance is in zapping someone with the intent of getting their attention or affection.

The sad reality is that there’s demand for that because there’s dry people out there not getting any and are also desperate for both. Most people could get out of that hopelessness by focusing on themselves and having a purpose rather than chasing tails.

The mere act of zapping someone for the content they produce is perfectly fine on my book. Sending each other value/energy freely is a powerful tool. Tools are devoid of intenten.

JoySun 2y ago

Agree, focusing on self (in a healthy way) is the way to go!

Another thing is about the intention of the content creator. Is he/she providing value with no other motives or is he/she preying on the vulnerable to get some artificial version of what they're really looking for?

That said, I don't even really know what onlyfans is about so...

0214aa9d... 2y ago

I understand where you're coming from. Your interpretation of why people subscribe to OnlyFans is a popular one, even if I disagree.

Here's my perspective: OnlyFans is porn. Full stop. People buy porn. MOST people buying porn on OnlyFans are doing so because it's porn. SOME people buying porn on OnlyFans are in a dynamic with the creator, and send money as part of that dynamic. And then you have the VERY small number who have a parasocial relationship and are deluded into thinking it'll "buy" them affection.

As for findom: it's the sub's kink. They literally get off on sending money. Don't ask why. It's a kink; if you don't have it, you won't get it. Many subs in findom are attracted to being ignored while they send. I have absolutely engaged in sessions where I was asked to either degrade or completely ignore a sub while they sent 3 figures. (COMPLETELY ignore, by the way. I was asked to play a video game) If a sub is sending money under the illusion that it'll "buy" them affection or attention, then they're being scammed. Findom is: sub sends Dom(me) money or gifts and gets off on it, Dom(me) receives money or gifts and gets off on it.

As a final example: I have spent well over 3K on gifts for my fiance. If we include what I've spent on plane tickets to see them and food I've bought for us etc, I'm probably pushing the envelope at 10K. But I don't do it because it makes them love me more. I do it because it makes me happy. It doesn't turn me on, like it would turn a finsub on, but I still enjoy it.