Except is does... Because it's not Bitcoin...
No it doesn't. Especially when hinging on that caveat "if used correctly" which most users won't.
https://voltage.cloud/blog/lightning-network-faq/lightning-network-privacy-explainer/
https://blog.keys.casa/lightning-privacy-101/
Monero is just another trade off, like lightning/liquid, which you have no problem using. Except, unlike both, it doesn't compromise most major value props of Bitcoin. "I don't recommend keeping a lot of funds there" - Ok, just apply this same advice to Monero. Done.
Discussion
I wonder why you "don't recommend keeping a lot of funds there". Could it be because Liquid/LN are different from Bitcoin? 🤔 You would think if they were the same thing you could keep your whole stack on them. Major differences.
Now you say "bro it's just trade offs" well then apply that same logic to Monero. Just trade offs. Don't keep a lot of funds on there. You don't have to jump thru mental gymnastics.