Don't you dare criticize any aspect of Bitcoin! /s

I was in a similar position a couple years ago. The answers from the zealots were never satisfactory. Was always shot down for asking legitimate questions, but that is very common in this space. Learned better and found others who were more intellectually honest.

Check out "Monero Directory" account follows/followers for more like-minded users: npub1r27775s4thzj5gdz4j0dr8jygvtldnur2qxlzw0muu7z57k83c4qtsyqx6

Don't worry about dogma. Use the best tools for the job.

In terms of private, simple, cheap transactions, Monero is just hands down better than whirlpooling/coinjoining. I would only use Whirlpool if I had no other choice and had to use Bitcoin.

Privacy:

Amounts and addresses are COMPLETELY HIDDEN on Monero (Confidential Transactions + Stealth Addresses). In Whirlpool they are obfuscated, but still visible so strictly more vulnerable to tracing and chain analysis especially thru user mistakes.

Anonymity:

Because your transactions are automatically chosen as decoys for other user transactions that happen, your anon set grows over time passively with no other actions required of you. Every spend from others in a coinjoin potentially reduces your anon set. It is never known if a TXO was spent with Monero, UTXOs don't exist. Coinjoining requires active participation and is only as large as others that are coinjoining with you.

Cheap:

Average cost is less than a cent to transact.

Simplicity:

All this is by default. No special wallets. No tedious and slow process. Just press send.

Censorship resistance:

No centralized coordinators

The only other real contender for privacy is Ecash like Fedimint or Cashu, but they are both custodial and mints can print tokens unbacked by Bitcoin.

There are a lot of people even on Nostr who like to save in Bitcoin, but spend in Monero. I think that is a reasonable position if you are coming from Bitcoin-only territory.