cos "pOweR" is meaningless to me
have zero appetite
manufacturing compliance is the work of a tyrant
there is nothing in it
no victory just game of winners & losers
validation cant be derived from what isnt being sought like..
if you had endless positive attention
abundance of it
oodles & bundles
what is the flavor of negative attention even giving someone
do they still seek it outside of a little kid just learning the difference between themselves & another?
is that transmitting?
like understanding little ones there is the developmental stage of primary narcissism, infant narcissism
thats natural af cos everything is them when they first start perceiving
but for an adult to seek negative attention for thrill
or for an adult to desire to dom or whatever is that just.. early childhood patterns stuck in a loop?
or is there actually a mature adult thrill somewhere that i simply have a poverty of the imagination about?
like im imagining being a mother of two young kids & a dominatrix at night for cash
where is the restorative part of my day?
just that where i cant lose it on my kids
i can discipline people paying for me to transfer motherhood annoyances into their bodies injuring them (albeit superficially) ??