I was at a completely different stage of my life in 2020 than I am today and i would have liked to have given him more back in recent years, especially because he would have become a granddad next year.

unfortunately, this "uneasy" feeling in my stomach has stayed with me to this day

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Well I guess your loss was still pretty recent. So maybe your uneasy feeling will go away too? With more time 🙏

5 years does not feel long yet 🫂💜 but i don't think it's a bad thing that it's like that, it's just part of it and you just have to actively enjoy the moments with your loved ones

Yeah you’re absolutely right. In a way, I feel like this is already making me a better person. More grateful and loving of the people around me.