Self censoring to be kind to others is strength.
Self censoring because you are afraid of losing acceptance is weakness.
Discussion
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I am slowly learning the art of telling the difference. Got into an argument with a friend with something related to this and it helped me a lot to be more humble about my views, whether I'm right or wrong, because you can still hurt people regardless.
That’s the thing right?
I ask myself “is this thing more important to me than the friendship?”
Most of the time the answer is no.
But every once in a while it isn’t.
Only in very dire circumstances would I sacrifice a friendship to be right in an argument. The vast majority of the time, the bond you form with close relations is infinitely more valuable to you as a human than intellectual smugness.
i got hung up on a whole "the real kindness is telling the truth" and "no more time/face to waste" type stuff -
combined with a healthy disdain for people taller than 46" expecting that I would or should consider their "feelings" over the possibility that speaking the truth directly could actually help the 46"-and-younger crowd coming after us have a shot at something decent , I'm quite harsh - particularly with grown western men .
became a teacher because of thoughts like those and others .
actually , this sums up my sentiment and approach almost perfectly:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7S9ReqhKx9k&pp=ygUYZ29yZG9uIHJhbXNleSB2cy4gYWR1bHRz