This is a real answer! Thank you!
Get an old VW bug and swap it to electric.
https://www.evwest.com/diy-kits?srsltid=AfmBOor85EoixipCvRPgM9d1VwrBMg0AxouZfoNFEK_uSGY3q2AeqOjx
Discussion
an electric VW Bus and a fort/farm to keep your solar panels and wind turbines behind seems like a decent plan :D
Probably be able to find a good deal on one since it doesn't matter if it's running or not. Just need a decent body with little to no rust. The whole set up will probably cost around $25-27k. It's a little pricey but I think that is still cheaper then any EV on the market right now. Plus zero spyware.