why am i sharing this?

because it is an intrinsic distinction to my lived experience of me

i carry it, i carry it in

once there was someone who insisted on buying me a plane ticket

i didnt know why

to me i was like: ive got it i dont want you to

he really insisted

i really insisted back

and i started to think this disagreement didnt bode well for us for the future

we never met up

he later told me he was sorry he was so insistent but he was that insistent because he did not want the cash i threw in for the plane ticket to compel me to sleep with him if something felt wrong when he shared what he only wanted to share in person