LND spent the better part of a year (or so) focused on Taro -> Taproot Assets, and shelved bolt12 and hasnt indicated that they'll implement it

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That’s just not true. BOLT12 is in the pipeline.

"pipeline" more like "shut up quit asking us for it"

No. It’s actually in the pipeline and being worked on. I apparently know more about this than you, so maybe you should not talk about things you don’t know about.

Sounds like their pipeline trick worked on you.

Bolt12 is shitcoinery that simultaneously breaks the network.