The "good" kids still weren't good to me and their parents wouldn't have known since they weren't my parents

I only think you're right about your kids because you've put effort into building a life better than society offers, and I grew up in a place for people who just want "the best of society" whatever that means - probably no families like yours in my home area

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I am very blessed. All we can do is our best with what we have.

But then you see how the kids and the parents can overpower any plan?

Sure. For me, plans never work out the way i want, honestly. Clear intention and surrender to flow is my way. Not sure how that works in a school system.