I will say that I don’t mean to judge or make a claim about anyone here. I have zero doubt that everyone here loves their kids more than anything. But I think a lot of parents who don’t care the slightest about their kids (and thus don’t spank them) are equated as consequence OF not spanking, which is irrelevant to the situation. Kids who have uninvolved, uncaring parents are just generally pieces of shit as adults. They aren’t the same.

You can love your kids more than anything and spank them, and you can despise your kids or completely ignore them and not spank them. The loved kid will absolutely turn out better. But that doesn’t mean spanking/hitting is a crucial form of punishment to teach children a lesson. I am arguing that it teaches them to behave because of fear of someone else, rather than for the benefit it’s to them and the cost it is to innocent people when they are awful.

Thus, in the former situation, they are more likely to be awful again when the big scary person isn’t around.