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I think you misunderstand this entirely. In the case of my friend, and a lot of parents, if it’s not time to go, it’s not time to go.

Think of it this way: a young child will scream and cry no matter what. All day every day . If you can say things in a way that limit this, why would you have them cry 80% of the time when it could be 40% of the time?

MAHDOOD 8mo ago

I understand the logic to avoid the crying and screaming.

What I’m saying is that kids cry more often when parents reinforce the crying. In other words, at some point the child learned that crying is more likely to get them what they want. That was taught to them by the parents. But if they don’t get what they want, crying is less frequent. I’ve seen kids that don’t cry when parents tell them no and the parents never walk on eggshells around them. My friend’s wife works with kids for a living and is really good at that. Her two year old is so fucking smart and never has any tantrums. It’s actually really impressive.

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Discussion

node 8mo ago

I understand what you think you’re saying but removing one possibility of cries in the day won’t reinforce crying.

Let’s revisit this when you have your own children

Sat Nakamoto 8mo ago

The point mahdood is going for is: you do want to reinforce the idea that “crying is not how you get what you want.”

It’s a healthy notion for humans of any age.

Sat Nakamoto 8mo ago

I doubt babies know, but I think a 2 year old can start to understand it.

node 8mo ago

An 18-24 month old gets told no literally 50 times per day. One more time won’t change much in their development

MAHDOOD 8mo ago

Yea at that age they’re trying to become more independent as they explore the world and what they can do. They’re experimenting what they can get away with. It’s a fun but stressful stage for parents haha

node 8mo ago

I’m very curious to hear you go through parenting one day

MAHDOOD 8mo ago

I love kids. I spend a lot of time with my nephews and nieces. I’m their favorite uncle out of 7 total. They prefer me over the grandparents too. But I know having your own kids isn’t the same. It’s easier for me to say this is how it should be done when I’m not sleep deprived and burnt out chasing them around all day😂

node 8mo ago

Both parents get their 8h daily in this house 🫡😂

MAHDOOD 8mo ago

Nice! I think the most difficult period is when the newborn is constantly waking you up in the middle of the night. Would you agree? That’s the shit that will get me white hairs lol

Sat Nakamoto 8mo ago

No, the most difficult period is when they’re old enough and big enough to knock you on your ass.

MAHDOOD 8mo ago

Hahaha man if you were a good parent you’ll never have to worry about that

node 8mo ago

I think each couple is different. Waking up part was pretty straight forward. Get out of bed. Do the steps. Go back to sleep. I feel like around 2 for the first one was the hardest. Managing the tantrums, introducing discipline, agreeing on how to proceed with the other parent, setting the rules.

MAHDOOD 8mo ago

Aww man if you’re not on the same page with your partner it’s going to be a nightmare.

node 8mo ago

If we weren’t on the same page, it would definitely be a nightmare

node 8mo ago

Lmao thank you for explaining that. I would have never understood that on my own

Sat Nakamoto 8mo ago

You’re welcome 🤷🏻‍♂️

But beyond that, I think it’s a perfect teachable moment for how to express your feelings and communicating what you actually want. Maybe you can even get into making deals with them. Its fun.

“How many sats do I need to zap you for you to shut the fuck up?”

How are you feeling right now node? 😄

node 8mo ago

Lmao this is not even a story about me. Yet you want to give me a lesson in parenting. Very interesting. Also doesn’t get sarcasm

Sat Nakamoto 8mo ago

It’s funny you think someone is trying to give you a lesson. 😄 this whole time I thought we were discussing kids.

node 8mo ago

Not exactly. You came into the discussion trying to explain to me what Mahdood is saying. I don’t need a translator. If I don’t understand something I ask. I understood his point. I was making mine

Sat Nakamoto 8mo ago

I was making my own also, but it sounds like you have some nostr etiquette you’re trying to communicate?

node 8mo ago

What are you talking about with nostr etiquette?

You literally said : “ the point Mahdood is trying to make is”, in response to my note. You were literally explaining to me what Mahdood was saying, as if I didn’t understand it myself

Sat Nakamoto 8mo ago

So you feel like I was patronizing you when I said that. I can see why you feel that way. But I really wasn’t 🤷🏻‍♂️

Sat Nakamoto 8mo ago

The truth is I don’t know what you know, at all.

Sat Nakamoto 8mo ago

If anything, mahdood could also take the same comment as me patronizing him. Like he can’t explain it himself. But he didn’t.

MAHDOOD 8mo ago

Relax guys. I’m not great at explaining myself. We all friends don’t get upset 🫂

node 8mo ago

Not upset. I understood what you were saying 😂

Sat Nakamoto 8mo ago

I think this is why my nipples aren’t supple at the end of the day. 😭

MAHDOOD 8mo ago

nice callback😂

MAHDOOD 8mo ago

Yes thank you. My friend’s wife does that very well, it’s impressive. She waits for her son to stop crying and then she gives him what he wants after he asks for it using his words. I don’t like saying this but it’s kind of like teaching a dog. You want to reward the good behaviors and ignore the bad or block the bad behaviors. My psych professor when I was doing my undergrad told me that lol. Kids are kind of blank slates. They don’t know what works and what doesn’t so they try different things. Crying tugs on our heartstrings so it gets the job done most of the time. But why is it that some children cry while others scream? Why is that some kids will hit themselves on the head to get what they want? The kid that hits himself learned that this gets me what I want because crying and screaming doesn’t work anymore. But these are all learned behaviors reinforced by parents is my point.