I recently read the first Harry Potter book to my kids. It was weird to finally consume the product after years of observing the culture war surrounding it from the sidelines. Given how invested so many fringe progressives are in the HP world, I was staggered at how unapologetically English the whole thing was. From the ancient boarding school cutlure to the oh-so-twee names and salivating over toffees and Shepherd's Pies, and the fact that the poncy wizards all live in some sort of neo-Dickensian time-warp, it seems like a trad larper's wet dream. What on earth were they getting out of it?

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I'm not having a go at HP - not much, anyway. It's a piece of mediocrity that shines in an era of cultural decline and I'm into a bit of trad larping myself. I just find it funny that the purple-haired, gender-fluid set felt so betrayed when the author turned out to be less woke than they thought.

Tradition, dear boy. "poncy" being the operative word.