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Kermit’s lost it and on a bender. It really wasn’t easy being green. Miss Piggy dumped his ass. 🐸

I am neither of these!

And Elon Musk is a potential backup plan

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No pressure ;)

This is not my dating style!

But I am obligated to follow a path that leads somewhere

Hopefully really good for everyone

NOT EVERYTHING YOU WANT!

but a ton of fun

Can be enhanced if you'd like

Check my email for details

Thanks weird bot

Yes, actual picture, no makeup, no filters, yard work duty outfit

At my mother's place

Too many insects!

NOT A BOT, dooftard ;)

He is not on TEAM until #cutiepatootie is not

Nothing like being a "sacred prostitute" (eye roll emoji)

The FUTURE WILL change!