Dream laptop:

14" 1920x1200 500 nits matte

4-6 Xeon cores

64gb ECC RAM

2x2280 nvme raid 1

Coreboot, IntelME disabled

Internal battery

No cameras or microphones

SD card slot (I can haz two?)

Crappy speakers, bare minimum

Blobfree wireless

Three USB-A ports, two USB-C (one at rear for charging)

No external display ports

Keyboard from a Thinkpad X220

Touchpad from a MacBook

Wide range operating conditions, humidity, temp etc.

Must support stock Fedora Workstation

It can be an inch thick and up to 3 lbs so long as it is sturdy and quiet.

Should be optimized to run plugged in for long periods without wearing down the battery.