Zaps are not cybil resistant so we agree there. It really doesn’t even matter who gets the funds you just need to make sure an anon sender has some cost to send or stake a message as non spam at least when onboarding

In a group context I see no problem with somebody being the Uncle Jim ensuring there’s no foul play on behalf of the group. Once funds are received sign an attestation. I don’t see that as exponentially difficult.

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That's one hop away (you trust Uncle Jim).

But if one of Uncle Jim's friends (2nd hop) signs the attestation? What if its 3 hops away?

It gets real tricky real fast.

Not really. You either have Uncle Jim custody the group chat, have a DM. Or go on Nostr or something else if you want a public facing permissionless system where anything goes.