Demanding a man shake your hand is the same as demanding a woman give you a hug. Don't force physical contact. We don't want to touch you, go away. It's not about being sick, it's about not knowing you and having no desire for any level of touch with a stranger ๐คฎ
Discussion
I shudder anytime I hear someone say (Always in a way to chipper voice) "Sorry, I'm a Hugger!"
Yes! I suppose "demand" was the wrong word, but it's easier than "leveraging societal expectations, common niceties, and basic empathy to pressure people into conceding to something that they're opposed to"
"I'm a hugger" is like "oh, everyone ELSE is okay with it. Are YOU going to be the ONLY one to make me feel bad about a way I just am??? ๐ญ"
Who the hell "demands" anyone shake their hand? Hand shakes are for meeting people in agreed upon things not just random people walking up to you, etc. IDK this seems like a problem that isn't an actual problem. Of course some weirdos likely do this but it can't be common. I am 51 and have never had a single person demand I shake hands or ever even heard of this before.
My fiance works in a bar and strongly dislikes a certain group of people who frequently come in and make asses of themselves. Tonight, as they were leaving, they stuck out their hand to my fiance, who had been avoiding them to avoid a scene. He refused their hand and tried to move along. They made a scene.
I have at many points in my life seen men offer their hand to another man to "shake" it as a weird assertion of dominance. Often as "I acted like an asshole and you have to take it because I have power over you." The implication is that the other person has to shake to "make good," when again, the first person was being an ass and the less powerful person more often than not was just calling them on their shit.
Some people are really weird about shaking hands with every man they meet, in any situation. Itโs super weird, the first couple times it happened to me I thought it was just that person being weird, but itโs happened multiple times since.
While I personally will shake just about anyoneโs hand if they make eye contact and seem confident in themselves, that doesnโt mean everyone does, so Iโm kinda with you on this. Respect peopleโs preference. Itโs just basic human decency.
Humans are weird, and if some douche canoe decides to insist on a handshake or any other kind of contact that it's returned readily...it's usually a sign of them not being able to read the damn room. Haven't seen it a ton, but it's usually drunks or jackasses that dont just play it off casually if it's not returned
Yeah often get that "sorry, I'm a hugger" thing from people, I'm normally ok with it but there's some people you just don't want touching you. Usually because they're channeling Eeyore or Marvin the depressed robot and you just don't need that rubbing off on you.
For those who insist on hanging off people when you know they don't like it and using the "sorry, im a hugger", imagine how you'd feel if the person you hugged grabbed a handful of your crotch and said "sorry, I'm a groper"? ๐ค