We tend to think of libido as just one thing with a very simple measure, Low ↔ High. But actually, it has two components, the gas and the breaks. (This idea shamelessly stolen from the book Come As You Are)

While this theory is relevant to everyone, and helpful for anyone who wants to turn someone else on, I think it’s particularly helpful for hetero men. Maybe instead of thinking about how to turn someone on by hitting their gas pedal, maybe spend some time thinking about how to avoid hitting the their brake pedal. Your time is far better spent working on being safe than it is working on having a huge paycheck or huge biceps. Women, in general, for obvious reasons, are very sensitive to a lack of safety. And so any hint of you not being safe for them will slam on those breaks.

But if you can demonstrate safety, emotional, physical, etc., if you can avoid touching that break pedal, then any bit of gas will take you a long way.