i thought plants made fruits to be eaten so we spread the seeds... i guess eating beans would be eating the seed itself which would destroy the seed?

whereas eating apple or watermelon, we will likely spit the seed out.

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Spot on regarding destroying the seed.

Plants "want" *something* to eat their fruit but that doesn't mean it should be humans. Some fruits are literally deadly to humans but birds can eat them just fine.

There's a whole great talk about it: https://youtu.be/j1cqNDDG4aA