I'm a software developer and a longtime enthusiastic user of decentralized technologies. the relay management and inspection is by far the part of nostr that eludes me the most and brings me the most anxiety.

I feel like I don't have (and can't get) a good handle on:

- which of my relays are being used for what across which clients

- what relay settings are being shared between clients (and how)

- how my .well-known/nostr.json relay list interacts with this

- given my current relay settings, which npubs' notes can I access very reliably vs which I'm getting by proxy/broadcast/reply

- no good way to keep notes on my current relay settings and why I have certain ones selected (after spending some time working on relay settings it seems rational, then 3 months later I don't remember what's what and/or what may have changed out in the world)

- etc....