Make sure you are adding the prefix ws:// and not wss:// when you add the relay. Also confirm that your Nostr client will accept ws:// prefix. I wasted a few minutes not noticing before I changed it.

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I figured out the problem! I wasn’t putting in my magicdns address from tailscale. This is literally amazing 🤩

It should have worked with internet IP also, but Tailscale is awesome for connecting remotely if you can’t or don’t want to open ports.