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Jesus turned water into wine and died for your sins and you’re still SOBER, blasphemer!

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There's a story for children called Harry Potter, read it, you will love it...

These are compelling arguments

Ephesians 5:18

Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit,

Read the Bible.

Do not get drunk, not do not drink. Moderation and self control.

Wow god told us to skip wine and go straight to the hard stuff (“spirit”)

They actually call it spirits because when you get drunk, you summons the spirit demons, that's why people black out and can't remember, but yeah.

Very funny ha ha ha ha

Hahahahaha

He died for my sins, but then he came back to life! What's that all about?

Look, we don’t need me falling off the wagon. That’s not good for anyone, including Jesus.

Oh no!

Don’t drink much these days, but on Saturday I had 2 beers. Was glorious.

He also rubbed mud into someone's eyes to cure his blindness. I don't recommend you do the same.