I really think people need to process their childhood upbringings and understand how their partners were treated. For example, if your partner was neglected growing up then maybe extra attention and validating their thoughts makes them open up more to you. Or if you come from a home where you received enough attention, maybe that person is more independent and need breaks. I think we tend to push everyone in a box and not really understand why someone acts the way they do. Partners should have more conversations about how their childhood shaped them. Your environment helps condition you, and to be a good partner, you need to understand your partner, not just be a provider of what they say, but be a provider of their authentic personality. People can say they want this or that, but in truth, what is their default, and how could you elevate that relationship, together. You can't fix someone, and they can't accept anything unless they understand. It is a delicate balance of taking care of each other but also knowing each other's limits and goals. Some people are happy as is, some people like to learn and grow. If you can't have these deep, open talks about all levels of your personality, the relationship will fail. The relationships that succeed tend to have people be a perfect match on levels, they probably don't even understand, but it fits. If you explore it more, I would guarantee their puzzle pieces align a lot more than most.
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