“Hello, you have reached Jack Dorsey private messaging service

Press 1 if you are Kendrick

Press 2 if you are Jay Z

Press 3 if you are a lunatic who knows how to make Bitcoin work but your are going mad because I won’t respond to your emails, DMs and tweets..

Press 4 if Drake., JK.., go fuck yourself…and

Press 5 if you’re a crazy stalker that wants me to marry you!”