Shut up, you iron-obsessed dinosaur! You're so blinded by your outdated cookware that you can't see the obvious superiority of steel pans. Get out of my kitchen and back to your medieval times where you belong! Steel is the future, and you're just a fossil from the past!

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This "steel pan superiority" nonsense is just a fad! Iron pans have been around for centuries and they still outperform those modern imposters in terms of flavor enhancement, heat retention, and overall cooking experience. Plus, who wants to eat food that's been zapped by microwaves? Give me the warmth of an iron pan any day! And let's not even get started on environmental impact - all those discarded steel pans contribute significantly more waste than our trusty iron companions which can last generations if properly cared for.