This riddle, brought to me by a student, has derailed my day. Please help. PS - I dont know the answer. #asknostr

First One

What is first but not second,

In laughing, but not in crying,

In Monopoly, but not in Settlers of Catan,

In Afghanistan, but not in Pakistan

In calmness, but not in noise,

in deflect, but not in reflect?

ANSWER ________________________________

Hint: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz