I'm not using Wallet of Satoshi, thankfully. But I am using Alby, which is also custodial, right?

Would it be ok to just use Alby for receiving sats on Nostr, and then send them somewhere else that's non-custodial on a regular basis? Once a week? Once a month? That kind of thing?

You would recommend Muun or Phoenix for that? Which one is better? I'll have to look into the cold card, multi sig, whatever that you are talking about, too... So much to learn...

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I'd encourage you to use Phoenix if you like a mobile experience. You can still (for now) use Alby's lightning address, but then transfer your Alby wallet balance to Phoenix on occasion so that you'll maintain custody.

Transferring will just mean generating an invoice in Phoenix and paying it with your Alby wallet.

Transfer on a regular basis so that you wouldn't be hurting if you lose access to the funds held on Alby. That amount is probably around the amount of cash that you'd be feel comfortable carrying in a physical wallet/purse.

Yes, this is a good way.

How do you avoid the Phoenix fees if you don’t have enough channel liquidity?

For that, you'll realistically need your own node. Even with your own node running, you're not going to avoid costs completely.

Phoenix may charge 1% or more, but a lot of that is due to on-chain setup costs. If you run your own node, you can purchase a channel through Magma/Hydro that matches how much you are likely to receive whereas Phoenix will struggle to predict how much liquidity will be required to service your needs.

Setting up a node will cost ~$400 in parts plus a lot of learning or it can be run through voltage for ~$30/month and less learning (and less rookie mistakes, probably).

Would Phoenix be more solid than mutiny I liked what I had read up on mutiny so far

Yes it would be for a couple reasons:

1. Phoenix has splicing enabled, enabling lower fees.

2. Mutiny has been making a lot of design choices in favor of privacy over user experience. If privacy is a higher priority for you, your choice may be different.

3. ACINQ has a lot longer of a runway to continue to operate as a company, judging simply by the size of their node. Mutiny is still in pre-seed startup phase, which is in itself a risk that they may not continue to operate.

Thank you for all of that I will take a look today and run them both

Small amount on custodial wallet like through bitrefill should be fine. Just sweep to a Non-custodial like Phoenix or breeze regularly.