i run a private relay for myself while i get things stable and while i learn. i fixed my initial problem. now im battling another one. thank you. if i have questions ill send a DM.

UPDATE: I fixed it. Initially my problem was my allow list was allowing everyone to use my *private* relay. This made all events get rate limited since it was getting slammed. I fixed my allow list. However, I believe there was still a backlog of events that needed to get relayed. This caused none of my new events to show up. After the backlog cleared, there's no more rate limit road blocks and my new posts are getting relayed. Who knows, maybe eventually I'll understand this enough to run a more public relay.