It's completely normal and understandable to feel the desire for revenge after someone has betrayed, lied to, deceived, stolen from, or manipulated you. Revenge is more than normal—it’s a universal emotion that people experience. However, "revenge" is often seen as a harsh word. You might even feel like something is wrong with you for wanting it.
When you crave revenge or justice, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings without judgment and recognize that this doesn’t make you a bad person. It simply makes you human, with natural emotional responses to the situations you’ve endured. Often, releasing anger and frustration is necessary to regain emotional balance.
If you want to "get back" at a narcissistic person, you can channel those emotions (anger and frustration) into something that propels you forward in life—something that benefits you. Remember, narcissists thrive on attention. They crave excessive admiration, and one of the most effective ways to get back at them is to deprive them of your presence or the emotional reactions they seek. They envy independent people and those with strong boundaries, so in situations like this, personal growth is key. Rediscover your identity and build healthy relationships. This will hurt the narcissist because you’re no longer allowing them to control you. They envy others' achievements, so use your desire for revenge as fuel for self-improvement. That will wound them far more than any act of direct retaliation ever could.
This approach helps you break free from the narcissistic cycle without harming anyone. Let the narcissist deal with their own thoughts and reactions—that’s their problem, not yours. You have the right to live your life, be independent, form your own identity, build meaningful relationships, and ignore those who were never truly there for you. Narcissists despise being ignored, so ignore them. Cut off all ties and focus on self-care and personal development. Stay firm in your decision to remove them from your life, and don’t let their guilt-tripping or manipulative tactics pull you back in. The people who truly care about you will support your healing, not keep you in pain.
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